“Anger solves nothing, builds nothing, but it can destroy everything.” - Anonymous
A majority of people believe that anger is a natural emotion to feel, Brian Bonar believes. After all, it's okay to get angry once in a while. You have every right to be angry when things don't go your way. But I do not share this opinion. While it's okay to get angry (after all, there are no good or bad emotions), anger doesn't have to be an option. Just as you choose to be angry, you can also choose not to be. You can solve your problems in the same way, or even better, without showing your anger.
In today's article, we're going to look at conscious ways to anticipate your anger, so you can gradually let go of this very destructive feeling. Here is an infographic summarizing the physical effects of anger (click to enlarge):
There are several stages of anger
This means that if you often feel irritated or frustrated, it's as if you have a rabid beast inside of you, just waiting to be unleashed.
You are this ticking time bomb, ready to explode at any moment. All you need is ( a ) the wrong stimulus, or ( b ) enough accumulated frustration, to burst into anger about someone or something. Here is a scale of the different stages of anger, which will help you to be more aware of your anger. Can you recognize these different stages within you?
Level 0: Serenity. This is a stage where anger does not exist. You feel a sense of peace and calm.
Level 1: Irritation. This is the first level of anger. Here you may feel a slight annoyance, but it is still suppressible. (If you are very angry, you can skip this level and go directly to levels 3, 4 or 5).
Level 2: Frustrated. This is the intermediate point between slight annoyance and real anger (level 3). You are frustrated and it shows. It's harder to deny your frustration compared to level 1.
Level 3: Anger. Your frustration has built up to the point where you are currently feeling angry. Not only that, but your frustration is such that it now manifests physiologically. You can feel your heart beat faster and your whole body warm up.
Level 4: Furious. A deep state of anger. You are very upset at this point. While you're feeling angry, you haven't lost control…yet. You are still lucid and able to control your actions for a long time. Another stimulus and you're ready to smash it all.
Level 5: Rabies . That's it, you've lost control! You see red and nothing can stop you from attacking others violently. It's the state where you say and do things you normally wouldn't do, in a fit of anger.
What level are you usually at? How often do you enter each level? What is the highest level you have reached?
Regardless of your answer to each question, you should strive to reach level 0, because that is our natural state of being. No one is born with an angry spirit according to Brian Bonar.
The only reason we feel irritation, frustration, anger, or rage deep inside is either (a) because of past, repressed events that stick in our throats or (b) thinking wrong.